The Most Complicated Hamburger I Didn't Eat

My book is nearing completion, and I've been thinking about cover concepts.  I wanted a cover with food, but what?  Ice cream came to mind, but face it, that is what kept me fat.  I'm in love with my replacement yogurt with fruit, but I didn't think it would be as recognizable.  Plus, it didn't highlight that many techniques.  Pizza is great any time of the day or temperature, but it just seems destine to be a risk food.  Then there was one another food that came to mind.  It was there for me growing up, after school, on many cheap teenage dates, in my apartment in grad school, on many cheap adult dates, and even today for dinner.  Hamburgers! When I started trying to lose weight, fitting in two hamburgers for dinner was like trying to fit in a large pizza.  But tonight, I ate two for dinner and had enough calories left over for a chocolate yogurt shake.

I planned for hamburgers tonight and cooked an extra one for the photo shoot.  As they fried in the cast iron pan, I asked my wife, "Which hamburger patty looks the most photogenic?"  I used the two I was eating for dinner as practice.  Does it look better all together or separated into parts?  What size and amount of lettuce best represents the message I want to convey?  The whole photo shoot took me an hour, far longer than it took to cook or eat the hamburger.


I used only actual food, no glue, glitter, or fake stuff on my plate.  Sure it may have looked better, but I'm about reality in food, not make believe.  The grocery store already sells enough make believe food.  I thought of myself as a National Geographic photographer on expedition trying to get the perfect shoot of the hamburger in the wild.


I even had to face the apex predator of the kitchen.  It got rough at the end when my toddler took a break from cartoons and toys to notice what I was up to.  Then he yelled he wanted a hamburger and made an unsuccessful raid campaign to the table.  Fortunately I had another hamburger left over in the fridge I used to buy him off.

In the end, I think I captured it:

This hamburger was like the ones I actually ate for dinner.  The above as pictured was only 385 calories.  It highlighted what I've learned about engineering calories.  The beef, cheese, and bread all fell into the "will work for calories" technique.  For example, the beef is a chuck roast I ran through the food processor.  That saved over a hundred calories in itself.  I'm topping it with a mini-salad of veggies to lower the calorie density.  (Fun fact - the jalapeños and onions are from my garden last year.)  Beyond that, the plate highlighted how my tastes have changed: extra sharp cheddar cheese, mustard, and raspberry tea.  Those don't go as far back as me and my childhood hamburger but are regulars now.  I always thought tea was dirty water and mustard was as tasty as a banana peel.  Now I'm drinking tea everyday and to the point where mustard can replace mayo and BBQ sauce.


The "sprinkles-on-top" experience is that during this whole time I was never tempted to eat the hamburger.  I felt sated from the two I ate for dinner.  Though I did the drink the tea when I was done.  Still can't believe I missed out on it all those years.  Now I just need to review my 80 something shoots and finalize on the image.  The above is one one my leading favourites.

Disclaimer: Hamburgers were eaten in the making of this production.